This is me with my husband and two oldest children before I found out that I was HIV positive in 2001.
I was not sick myself, but my third child, Joanne, was ill from the day she was born.
I didn't know what was wrong with her. My first two children were fine and I used to wonder, "What kind of child did I give birth to?".
One day I took her to hospital. I can say that it was the worst day in the world. A counsellor asked me to sit down and told me that Joanne had been tested for HIV and the result was positive. I was so shocked. Where did this child of mine get the disease? Was it my fault or my husband's?
I was tongue-tied. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to throw my child away. I asked the counsellor what I should do and she told me that the best thing would be for me to go for a test myself. My result was positive.
When I came home I told my husband. But he didn't believe me. He said the child just had traditional diseases. He said that I looked healthy, so I couldn't have HIV. I tried to persuade him to take a test, but he refused.
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