Fear creates a barrier
In Esquipulas, a town near the Guatemalan-Honduran border, Paula says she chose not to continue her journey out of fear of facing more violence. “We already made it to Mexico. We were in Tapachula, but we didn’t go any further because we were too afraid. They said if migration police didn’t catch you, the cartel would.”
Paula is a survivor of sexual violence in the Darién Gap, where armed men also threatened her 4-year-old son. “In the jungle, they put a gun to his head. Thank God he’s still too innocent to understand most things, but yes, they put a gun to his head—to threaten his father.”
While in Mexico, Paula’s family attempted to apply for asylum legally through CBP One, a mobile app migrants were required to use to request appointments at the US border to apply for asylum. But when the current US administration canceled the program in January, her plans collapsed. “I’ve kind of come to terms with it now,” she says, “but it hurt a lot knowing I was going to have to make the same journey again … only this time, with nothing. I’m okay now, but there are moments when I feel like someone is following me. Like there’s an enemy behind me.”
“Fear doesn’t necessarily respond to a visible threat,” Alvarado adds, “but rather to past traumatic experiences or the context in which people are living. It’s a constant, anticipatory fear—not because of what already happened, but because of what could happen at any moment.”